I have HIV!

Hi guys! I just wanna share my experience about what happened to me last year January 2007! Kapa pasok pa lang ng 2007 when one of my fuck buddy who was a med tech asked me if I already got tested for HIV? Sabi ko bakit eh imposible ako magka meron nun since mga addict at feeling ko mga parloristang gay ang mga magka ameron nun and not me. Sabi nya basta magpa test ka. He convinced me to get tested sabagay active talaga sex life ko. Never pa kasi ako nagpa test ng blood ko di pa naman kasi ako nagka kasakit so why bother?! So I went to the hospital kung saan sya nagwo work and asked him to extract my blood sabi ko pa nga sa kanya itest mo na gusto mo i-test para isang kuhanan na lang di kasi ako sanay sa turok. He told he’s co-workers that I was his cousin (syempre baka mahalata kami were both very discreet pa naman). So on that afternoon my med tech friend caled me up and said he wanted to talk to me about something. Sabi ko sige, kung ano ano na pumasok sa utak ko that time medyo natakot ako. Sabi ko baka nakita nila yung STD ko before o baka bumalik na naman yun. Nag se-self medication lang kasi ako pag nagka ka std ako. So that afternoon I fetch him and while I was driving I asked him.
Hivpos27: Kamusta yung test ko?
Med Tech Guy: Ok naman, mataas lang ang uric acid mo but everything seems to be normal.
Hivpos27: That’s good! Kinabahan naman ako sayo, kala ko kung ano na.
Med Tech Guy: Tara punta tayo simbahan.
Hivpos27: Huh? Bakit?
Med Tech Guy: Basta samahan mo muna ako.
We went to a church and then I parked. He didn’t go down, instead he cried. Then he delivered the BIG NEWS, he said he tried testing my blood for HIV and it came out POSITIVE! Hindi ko alam kung ano magiging reaction ko sabi ko baka nagbibiro ka lang. Sabi nya hindi, sabi ko paano ka naka kasigurado? Pinakita nya sa akin yung test kit na nag positive at that time medyo ng lalamig na ako. I asked him sino naka kaalam about this? Sabi niya wala, he tested it secretly. He got another test kit sabi nya baka nagka mali lang yung test kit ulit daw nya. He prick my finger and put some blood on a small paper strip we waited for a couple of minutes that’s for me the most agonizing and longest waiting in my life, and again it came out POSITIVE. I can’t believe it! Sa laha lahat ng tao ako pa nagka meron wala naman ako naka sex na foreigner lahat sila pinoy. Sino sa kanila? Hindi ko matandaan, hindi ko alam kung kanino ko nakuha. Sabi niya samahan daw nya ako sa San Lazaro kasi dumuty din sya dun. Doon daw dinadala ang mga gusto at for confimatory test ng HIV.Hindi ko alam gagawin ko, umiiyak siya kasi I fucked him sabi ko sa kanya don’t worry we use condom naman di ba? Sabi nya kahit na may chance pa rin na mahawa ako sayo. I also felt gulty baka nga nahawahan ko sya if ever na talagang HIV positive ako. I was demoralized that moment. That night when I arrived home it was late and my parents were already sleeping but I still went straight to my their room and talked to them and told them what my med tech “friend” found out.
Hivpos27: Dad Mom may sakit yata ako? (I was starting to cry)
Parents: Ano? Bakit?
Hivpos27: Kasi nagpa kuha ako ng test sa kaibigan ko?
Parents: At ano, nakita? (They are getting very worried at this time)
Hivpos27: Kasi tinest ng kaibigan ko ang blood ko for HIV and nag positive to.
Parents: Ha! Paano, Bakit, Saan mo nakuha? (They started crying)
Hivpos27: Hindi ko alam kung saan ko nakuha?
Parents: Yan ang sinasabi namin sayo binigyan ka namin ng kalayaan, tingnan mo kung san ka ngayon. Baka mali yang test na yan magpa patest tayo sa iba.
Hivpos27: Dad Mom ayaw ko pa mamatay.
Parents: Anak, hindi ka mamatay. Hindi pa naman confirmed yan hahanap tayo nga gamot.
Hivpos27: Dad Mom sorry sa lahat ng nagawa ko sa inyo. Always remember na mahal na mahal ko po kayo. Wag nyo po sana ako pababayaan.
Parents: Mahal na mahal ka rin namin tandaan mo yan at hinding hindi ka namin pababayaan.
(My parents know that I’m straight but that’s all a lie, I am a bi guy. I go for girls and I go for guys) I told them I don’t know kung san ko nakuha. Kasi alam nila srtaight ako, they don’t know na most na nakakasex ko is same sex. We all cried that night, I asked forgiveness to them and nagpa aalam na rin ako kung baga huling habilin coz I thought I’m going to die anytime soon. My parents was in a state of shock sino ba hindi kung ide-deliver mo ang news na yon? They told me that we will find a cure and they will be there by my side to help me get through this test.
The next monday my dad and I went to San Lazro Hospital. I met this kind doctor and she talked o me first before undergoing the HIV test as part of their SOP (counselling) then they told me to pay 400 and then they extracted my blood they told me to go back after 2 weeks for the result. Eactly after 2 weeks my dad and I went back but the doctor said hindi pa daw lumalabas ang reult. Kinabahan na ko coz sabi ni doc once na naging positive ka they will run another test to confirm the first result and I think ganun na nga ang nangyari. After a week my dad and I went back for the result and eto.
Doctor: Ano plano mo kung halimbawa negative yan?
Hivpos27: Sabi ko life goes on pero syempre babaguhin ko na yung lifestyle ko, I will use contraception na.
Doctor: Pano naman kung positive?
Hivpos27: Sabi ko wala na tayo magagawa nandyan na yan kailangan ko na lang maki pag cooperate kung pano mapa pahaba ang buhay ko kasi bata pa ako and I’m the only one working for my family, madami pa ako pangarap. Pero definitely diko papaalam sa iba kasi medyo kilala kami at sigurado mase sentationalize ang family ko and I don’t want that to happen.
The doctor gave me the letter and I opened it. Hindi ko nga maintindihan kasi puro medical test nakita ko na lang my seropositive or reactive.
Hivpos27: Doc ano ba big sabihin ng mga to, san ko maki kita kung POSITIVE ako or NEGATIVE?”
Kinuha ni doc ang letter at binasa.
Doctor: This means your POSTIVE!
Hindi na ko naka pag salita pero tanggap ko na, hindi totally pero nag sinkin na sa akin since 3 weeks na nung unang nareceive ko ang same news with the med tech guy. I asked the doctor kung ano kelangan ko gawin. She gave me instructions. I made an alias para yun yung magiging name ko at itatawag nila sa akin doon. My real name will not be revealed kahit na ano mangyari not unless magkaroon ng court order sa kanila. My bill na kasi na napasa sa congress about the right of HIV/ AIDS patients. I also got my own code eto yung magiging ID no. ko sa profile ng DOH or Department of Health, that file with my code on it will contain all the medical test result, sickness and visits that I will make in San Lazaro. After that day, I went to San Lazaro and undergone several test para malaman kung may iba pa ba akong sakit that may affect my health and to check kung gano na kalala ang HIV ko. Although I’m feeling ok I’m still thinkind kung kanino ko nakuha yung virus. Yes, ngayon ako nagsisisi kung bakit di ako gumagamit ng condom before. (Wala namang nagsisi sa una di ba? Lagi sa huli ang pagsisisi sabi nga nila.) Oo nga masarap ang walang condom pero tingnan mo naman na pala ko habang buhay ko pagsi sisihan to. I already met some people na may HIV they’re very friendly and accomodating they want me to join they’re organization, yes it’s not bad pero in my case I just want to be alone baka mamaya may maka kilala pa sa akin mahirap na. Right now siguro pag nakita nyo ako di nyo aakalain na may HIV ako. Sabi nga d mo malalaman kung sino ang infected base on the physical aspect lang. Kaya guys payo ko sa inyo if your going to have sex use condom! Get tested wala naman mawawala kung mag pa patest kayo di ba? Atleast kung may makita man magagamot agad hindi pa huli ang lahat. Ako kasi walang paki alam noon sabi ko sa sarili ko imposible magka meron ako ng HIV pero eto POSITIVE ako! Kaya guys! USE CONDOM & GET TESTED!
P.S.Did you know that an average of 30 people are getting reported to be infected by HIV every month?! Ganun na sya kalala ngayon!

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13 Responses to I have HIV!

  1. Lucky says:

    Hey fellow-pozzie 🙂 Hope you are doing okay! Will link you in my blog okay 🙂

    -Lucky Trese

  2. jay says:

    were same dude

  3. jay says:

    i salute you..

    i want also to be test for the hiv

  4. arrhon says:

    hello..i have alot of questions sana..if its okay to u maybe u can send me a message..i am so scared kc baka meron na aq peru d pa aq nagpa test.message me here.scared_xxx@yahoo.com

  5. Naviel says:

    Iba ba un gngawang blood test for HIV? Or mkikita din kung positive ka pag kinunan ka ng dugo sa medical pag nag aaply ka ng trabaho?

  6. Joan pioquinto says:

    ..anO mga sintomas mO yung positve k s hiv, wla kbng nraramdaman pg my hiv ang isang tao, tzka lang years knang my hiv…

  7. mark tan says:

    you are not alone. positive din ako

  8. Marlon says:

    guys i was working abroad and i tried makipagsex sa wlang condom but ngayon nagkaka fever pero bibihira, then may rashes ako but sabi nila its just pimples, un lang nman ang narararmdaman ko meaning ba HIV+ ako? di pa ako nagpatest kasi once na malaman dito deported ako agad. please help me.

  9. marlon says:

    guys ofw ako, and msydo n akong deppressed kc d ko alam if ano ang lagay ko but may nrrmdaman ako some of the symptom like ung fever na on and off, then mga rashes but sbi nla pimples lang raw un, bigla kc ngbwas timbang ko ng 6kg, pero wla nman akong mga lymp nodes, kasama ba ang pamamanhid ng katwan at parang nalulula ka sa symptom what do u think guys hiv positive na ba ako? help me..

  10. anxiety says:

    Balak ko magpatest. But im scared. 😥 what if im positive? mahirap lang ako. saan ako kukuha ng pang treatment ko 😥

  11. anxiety says:

    i dont want to be overthinker. but i know in myself na naging active din ako before. kaya di ko maalis sa isip kong baka positive din ako. 😥

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